death-by-lulz:

It’s a turkey

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

*puts tape over webcam so the cia doesnt see me eating chips and crying*

death-by-lulz:

The mystery behind the A113 in Pixar movies.

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:

i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*
this site: wtf this is so scary

argentumlupus1:

your-raifu-is-shit:

throh:

ollivander:

flowergirlrobichiko:

the only acceptable reason

#I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo

TITTY 2 BOMB

Bra size: C4

BRA SIZE: C4

spudsexuall:

My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”

cillianmurphy:

Dancing in Film:

Across the Universe (2007) dir. Julie Taymor

Choreography by Daniel Ezralow

diddi-p:

this gets funnier with each passing year

glumshoe:

glumshoe:

My grandmother is a bitter old crab with nothing good to say about anything, but she does have a few good stories. She confronted the woman my grandfather had been cheating on her with - this other woman had no idea he was married, and was righteously angry.

The two of them schemed together. My grandfather’s mistress drove her convertible to the construction site where he was working. As he approached the car, she said, “Why didn’t you tell me you were married?”

“Married?! I’m not married!” he said.

My grandmother sat up in the back seat, where she’d been lying down, and said, “You won’t be for much longer.”

After they divorced, my grandfather begged my grandmother to come back to him. “I’ll marry you again if you buy me a house full of furniture,” she said.
“Deal,” said my grandfather.

So they got married again, he bought her the house full of furniture….. and then she divorced him.

Again.